Wednesday, April 28, 2004
I was going to talk about WMD, but I got distracted by the bouncing ball. So, baseball it is.
- Memo to my hometeam Houston Astros: Big ups for keeping the faith with Tim Redding. You can't crucify a guy on three bad starts. Last year's AL Cy Young Winner, Roy Holladay, sucked his first couple of times out too. So don't listen to the sports jocks who wanted Jeriome "How To Win 15 Games While Sucking" Robertson to be the 5th starter. You made the right call. Let it ride out.
If we're still talking about this in mid-May, however, all bets are off.
Your more pressing issue is Jimy Williams starting Mike Lamb, career mediocrity and he of the career 21 HR, ahead of a guy who hit 25 HR in 3/5 of a season worth of playing time last year, one Morgan Ensberg. In short, knock it off Jimy. You cost us the division title with this exact same nonsense last year. If you mess this year up too, we will call for your head.
- To the Arizona Diamondbacks, my surrogate home team: Thanks for sending a promising young starter away to get a reliever. I'm sure the Giants appreciate it.
But hey, calling up Chad Tracy and letting him play is a lot better than giving Shea Hillenbrand all the time at third, so props for that.
Now if you'd only trade prospects for a right fielder who can rake, rather than for relievers to shore up an already awesome pen, you can perhaps prevent my head from exploding.
- Finally, to the San Francisco Giants, just because they're going to be fun to mock this year: THIRTEEN PITCHERS?! Dear god, WHY? On a team that sees a decent rotation "backed" by a lineup that features such "hitters" as Edgardo Alfonzo (inconsistent as hell from year to year), J.T. Snow ("harmless" is not a characteristic you want at 1B, a position your big power hitter is supposed to occupy.) Michael Tucker (has no business playing a corner outfield spot everyday with his weak bat), Neifi Perez (hits like a 7 year old girl), and Marquis Grissom (an embarrassment: your #3 hitter is supposed to be your best hitter, not your best black hole of suck), exactly what is the point of having three mop-up men on your staff? Considering that mop-up men only pitch in blowouts, and considering that the Giants are not going to get blown out three times a week with their solid rotation in the pitcher-friendly PacBell Park, why not use the roster spots for someone who can HIT THE DAMN BALL?! Unless you plan to design 8 disguises for Barry Bonds so he can hit in all of the Giants's at-bats, at some point you're going to have to find someone who can put runs on the board. Carrying not one, but TWO pointless relievers does nothing to help this cause.
If this is your last, best shot to get Bonds a championship, just trade him to Oakland already. At least they've got a shot to win something this year.
- Memo to my hometeam Houston Astros: Big ups for keeping the faith with Tim Redding. You can't crucify a guy on three bad starts. Last year's AL Cy Young Winner, Roy Holladay, sucked his first couple of times out too. So don't listen to the sports jocks who wanted Jeriome "How To Win 15 Games While Sucking" Robertson to be the 5th starter. You made the right call. Let it ride out.
If we're still talking about this in mid-May, however, all bets are off.
Your more pressing issue is Jimy Williams starting Mike Lamb, career mediocrity and he of the career 21 HR, ahead of a guy who hit 25 HR in 3/5 of a season worth of playing time last year, one Morgan Ensberg. In short, knock it off Jimy. You cost us the division title with this exact same nonsense last year. If you mess this year up too, we will call for your head.
- To the Arizona Diamondbacks, my surrogate home team: Thanks for sending a promising young starter away to get a reliever. I'm sure the Giants appreciate it.
But hey, calling up Chad Tracy and letting him play is a lot better than giving Shea Hillenbrand all the time at third, so props for that.
Now if you'd only trade prospects for a right fielder who can rake, rather than for relievers to shore up an already awesome pen, you can perhaps prevent my head from exploding.
- Finally, to the San Francisco Giants, just because they're going to be fun to mock this year: THIRTEEN PITCHERS?! Dear god, WHY? On a team that sees a decent rotation "backed" by a lineup that features such "hitters" as Edgardo Alfonzo (inconsistent as hell from year to year), J.T. Snow ("harmless" is not a characteristic you want at 1B, a position your big power hitter is supposed to occupy.) Michael Tucker (has no business playing a corner outfield spot everyday with his weak bat), Neifi Perez (hits like a 7 year old girl), and Marquis Grissom (an embarrassment: your #3 hitter is supposed to be your best hitter, not your best black hole of suck), exactly what is the point of having three mop-up men on your staff? Considering that mop-up men only pitch in blowouts, and considering that the Giants are not going to get blown out three times a week with their solid rotation in the pitcher-friendly PacBell Park, why not use the roster spots for someone who can HIT THE DAMN BALL?! Unless you plan to design 8 disguises for Barry Bonds so he can hit in all of the Giants's at-bats, at some point you're going to have to find someone who can put runs on the board. Carrying not one, but TWO pointless relievers does nothing to help this cause.
If this is your last, best shot to get Bonds a championship, just trade him to Oakland already. At least they've got a shot to win something this year.
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